Toddler masturbation: what you need to know

Toddler masturbation: what you need to know

*Some people may find this topic distressing*

I know this topic makes us all uncomfortable. But let’s not avoid it; let’s discuss it!

First off, moms and dads, let’s deal with the elephant in the room.

Masturbation in toddlers can be a completely normal part of childhood development.

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It usually commences around the time of potty training before age 3 and is NOT related to sexual stimulation.

Coincidentally, it occurs during the period of self-discovering and curiosity of their body.

Toddler masturbation: what you need to know

Toddlers may often rub their genitals with their hands or against an object simply because it feels good, or to self-soothe.

The episodes may be accompanied by grunting noises, characteristic posturing of the legs, sweating and facial flushing.

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In some cases, repeated occurrences can be misdiagnosed as seizures and result in unnecessary investigations.

Major differences between childhood gratification behaviors and seizures are that consciousness remains intact during this activity, and the episodes can be interrupted by simply distracting the child.

However, he/she may return to self-stimulation once allowed. Masturbation can occur as often as several times a day or once or twice a month.

How to react

Toddlers may engage in this activity to deal with stress and emotional upset, or simply when they are bored.

As scary as it may seem, it's best not to react negatively towards this behavior.

Try not to reprimand, punish, or make your child feel like they are dirty or doing something wrong.

Usually these episodes become less frequent and more discrete by age 6.

Boundaries can be set to ensure that your child understands that masturbation should occur only in private and not in public places or in the company of others.

Do not stress on forcing your child to stop the activity, especially when used to self-soothe such as at bedtime.

Monitor and educate

It would be remiss of me not to mention that, although this is a normal and common phenomenon amongst young children, parents should still monitor their children’s behavior closely without cause for shame and embarrassment.

Speak to your child to ensure that he/she understands that no one is allowed to touch them inappropriately and that they themselves do not attempt to touch another child.

Self-exploration is normal at their age so parents, it's best to be aware and educated on this topic.

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