10 things to discuss with your partner before getting pregnant

Here are 10 things to discuss with your partner before getting pregnant.

There's no denying that having a baby is one of the most amazing, joyous, life-changing experiences you'll ever have.

But as wonderfully beautiful as it is, becoming parents is extremely challenging and it can take a huge toll on your relationship.

Life truly will never be the same again. And that's why it's important that you and your partner sit down and discuss if now is the right time, how you'll cope, and what the future looks like.

So, here are 10 things to discuss with your partner before getting pregnant.

Are we ready? Having a baby is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make. And it's one you won't regret, but it shouldn't be a rushed decision and both of you definitely need to be on the same page to make it work. You may both know you want children, but just have different ideas about when. And that's OK, as long as you're upfront and honest with each other.
Can we afford it? Babies are expensive and that extra financial burden can put a lot of pressure on a couple. It is important that you consider the costs before trying to conceive, especially if you aren't entitled to maternity pay for example.
How will a baby affect our relationship? Becoming a parent is one of the most life-changing experiences you will ever have. It's amazing and it's beautiful, but it's also exhausting, overwhelming, and challenging, and all of that can take its toll on your relationship. It's important that you consider these things and the fact that you'll have less time for each other once a baby comes along. One huge mistake many couples make is thinking a baby will fix their relationship. That is definitely not the case and not a reason to start trying to conceive. Work on your relationship first before even considering bringing a child into the picture.
How will we share responsibilities? This is an important discussion that most couples probably don't consider before trying to conceive. Raising a child and everything that comes with it takes a lot of time, energy, and commitment. There are lots of highs and lows, and there's no rule book. So it's vital that responsibilities are shared as much as humanly possible so that no parent feels the burden of the effort.
Is our home suitable? Babies come with lots of added extras and these take up a lot of space. And that's before they start crawling and walking! We're not saying there's a perfect home that you must have before you have a baby. But there are added considerations if you're renting for example, or if your home is particularly small.
Will we have childcare? Childcare is extremely costly - unless you have family who will do it for free. You need to discuss if one of you will give up work to look after the baby, if that would even be financially viable, and what your options would be if you both return to work.
What happens if we can't get pregnant? It can understandably be extremely angonising and stressful for couples if they struggle to conceive so it's important to discuss this beforehand and to consider what other options would be available to you. Ask each other about your openness to fertility treatments, as well as adoption or surrogacy.
What is our parenting style? This is such an important topic not to overlook. You might find that your outlooks on how you would raise a child, discipline them, educate them etc are completely different. And it's much better to have this discussion before baby arrives.
What would we be giving up? There's no denying that however amazing becoming parents is, it definitely turns your world upside down. And the reality is that even after they turn 18, they're still your responsibility and priority. So, it's important to consider all the things you won't be able to do once a baby comes into your lives.
Sleep deprivation: We're singling this out because we personally feel many people completely underestimate how much pressure lack of sleep can place on your relationship. It's easy to see why sleep deprivation was used as a torture method!