This is what you shouldn't say to kids during a tantrum, according to a child therapist.
And if you're anything like us, this will shock you as it's generally the first thing we say to kids having a meltdown.
But according to mom psychologist, Dr Jazmine McCoy, we need to stop telling our kids to ‘take a deep breath’ mid-tantrum.
She explained that while parents always mean well when telling their children to take a breath, “the truth of the matter is these things need to be self-initiated”.
She added: “Coping skills need to be self-initiated. They shouldn’t be forced. No one wants to feel controlled, especially with their feelings."
This is what you shouldn't say to kids during a tantrum
Instead of saying 'take a deep breath', Dr McCoy suggests trying something like: “We’re having a hard moment. I’m going to take a deep breath to calm my body down.”
You can then take some deep breaths yourself, in front of your child.
She explained: “If they join in, great. If they don’t, great. But kids are more likely to join us if they feel like we’re doing it with them and it’s not something we’re forcing them to do."
This approach allows your child to develop their own coping mechanisms, based on our actions rather than our demands.
It also reassures your child that you’re not trying to force change upon their emotions, but that you, as their mum or dad, have a coping mechanism that works for you.
And this might make them more likely to imitate.
Toddler meltdowns
Toddler tantrums are some of the toughest challenges of parenting.
The bad news is that these meltdowns are completely normal and something you just have to deal with.
But the good news is there are techniques to help you manage them, and we're here to help.
