8 tips for introducing your newborn to the family

Whether you are bringing home your second or your fifth child, introducing your newborn to the rest of the family is a huge milestone.

The reaction from your other child or children may be far from what you expected, and this can cause a lot of distress.

Being a mom-of-four, the reactions have varied from my first-born daughter, who was 12 years old at the arrival of my last baby, to my third-born daughter, who was three years old at the time.

Bonding

The experience can be stressful, so here are some tips you may want to follow to help everyone blend in easily.

1. Bonding with your baby bump: An early bond with your baby bump is a great way of preparing your child for the arrival of their new sibling . Your toddler will be excited about placing their hands on your belly. Encourage them to sing to their baby sister or brother. You could associate your due date with a special event like "the baby is coming near Christmas or on your birthday." This way, you avoid the anxiety question of "When is the baby coming mummy?" Your older child or pre-teen may feel shy and may not want to touch your belly. They may also feel embarrassed because you are pregnant.
   My older daughter, seeing my big belly, said: "Mum, let this baby be our last born. We are enough." But pointing out their friends who have small siblings helps them.
2. Include your child in the preparation for your baby: Letting your child help you prepare the baby’s room and arrange their clothes gets them excited for the new arrival. However, avoid telling your older kid that they will have to help with the baby, as this could turn them off. Allowing your child to accompany you to the doctor in your last trimester may help them bond and increase their excitement.
3. Avoid holding the baby during the initial introduction: You don’t want your toddler to feel replaced by the arrival of your newborn so it can be a good idea to leave the baby in their car seat or crib for that first introduction. Hold your toddler's hands, cuddle them and make sure they feel loved and not replaced.
4. Don't force it: If your child/children don’t want to meet the new baby at first, don't make a big deal about it. Your child's reaction may be far from what you expected, but be patient with them. Their world has an intruder and it will take time for them to get used to it.
5. Avoid 'big kid language': While this may work for some parents as their older kids excitedly take on the older sibling role, some children may refuse the title as one that moves them away from their mother.
   My pre-school child told me: "Mum, I do not want to be a big sister, I want to be your child too." She wanted to be covered with the baby's towels, climb in the baby crib, and, at some point, go back to breastfeeding. I personally let her do this. She tried twice and concluded that the baby's milk was not for her. If you are comfortable, let your toddler nurse.
6. Have special time with your older child: Mom guilt is real, especially when it comes to feeling like you're not spending enough time with your other child/children. I know time is what you don't have, but having someone else help you feed the baby and help put them to sleep will help you create time for your older child/children. It's also important to be generous with hugs and compliments at every small achievement. Make special time like sitting together and cuddling on the sofa as your newborn feeds.
7. Be patient: Your toddler may be stressed or jealous and bring it out by pinching and biting the baby. But they are just trying to process their feelings so be very patient while also watching out for the safety of your newborn. Allow them to hold the baby under supervision, help you bathe them and read to them.
8. Give a sibling gift: Bringing home a gift for your other kids from your newborn is a great way to help them celebrate. A small gift is also important to your older child when visitors come to see the baby.

One day at a time

It is very important for you as a mom to know that you are doing well and that you are a great mom to all your children.

Take one day at a time and don't beat yourself up.

You may let those dishes stay in the sink a little longer as you love on your wonderful children.