11 tips for managing mom guilt

Mom guilt is something every mom experiences, particularly first-time moms. So, we have 11 tips for managing mom guilt.

It's an extremely complex emotion, but it's basically the name given to the feelings of guilt women experience in relation to their kids.

And it comes from an unrealistic ideal of a perfect mom.

We all know that little voice in our head telling us we need to do more, spend more quality time, be less impatient.

But you're doing your best and it's important you reshape what you think being a good mom is.

11 tips for managing mom guilt

Here are 11 tips for managing your mom guilt.

1. Practice self-love: It's important to remember that loving yourself first is the best way to love your kids. Stop beating yourself up; you're doing your best. Maybe treat yourself to a pamper day.
2. Speak up: Don't suffer in silence. As the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved. Opening up about how you're feeling will help alleviate some of the stress.
3. Ask for help: Don't be afraid to ask for help as that will often help deal with the root of the problem. You can't do it all alone so it's important to accept that.
4. Let go of unrealistic standards: Mom guilt stems from an unrealistic ideal of being a perfect mom. There is no such thing as perfect, and you should never compare your parenting journey to that of anyone else.
5. Take time out: 'Me time' is so important as a mom. You can only give your best to your kids when you're well rested and feeling good. So make sure you schedule time to see your friends, take a gym class, or just go for a walk and grab a coffee.
6. Practice gratitude: When you practice gratitude regularly, your mindset begins to shift and you start to notice the little things that make it brighter. Everyday won't be a great day, but you'll appreciate the good days more when you practice gratitude.
7. Speak to your kids: Obviously this is age-dependent, but have you ever tried speaking to your kids and explaining that you're feeling stressed and under pressure. You'd be surprised how astute they are and you'll feel much better for it.
8. Follow your gut: There's nothing more powerful that your gut. Listen to it, trust your mom-tuition and use it as guidance.
9. Recognise irrational thoughts: You'll be consumed by irrational thoughts as a mom, especially as a new mom. But you have to learn to block out those thoughts and apply logic to the situation. If you're returning to work after maternity leave, your irrational mind will tell you your baby will suffer because of this and feel unloved. In fact, your child will benefit from meeting other people and socialising.
10. Work on your relationships: Other relationships tend to suffer when a new baby comes along. But it's important you make an effort to maintain these relationships so that you have a trusted support network. And so that your children can learn to value relationships by watching your example.
11. Don't compare: Resist the urge to compare your kids with others. Other parents might try to do this but don't engage as making comparisons often leads to feelings of inadequacy and guilt.