Have you ever found yourself apologizing for your child’s behaviour?
Of course you have! You’re a parent after all!
Recently, my husband and I began regularly carrying our two-year-old to church. Yup! Church!
The first couple of times we went, she was an absolute darling. I mean… she was more curious than anything.
She observed the service, munched on her cereal and even pointed out the statues of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, much to our amazement.
But guys! Tell me why at Christmas Eve mass, of all masses, little Miss decided to parade herself?
Meltdown
She decided to show everyone how she praises the Lord.
First, she began singing the hymns loudly with the choir, which of course was cute in the beginning.
But then she began singing loudly when no one else was singing.
I’m talking you could’ve heard a pin drop in the silence, and then my daughter begins shout-babbling her version of the hymns. *hangs my head in shame*
Then she decided that the floor was her best friend.
She sat on the floor, then lay down on the floor, then rolled on the floor under the pews, much to our dismay.
Oh, and when we tried to pick her up, she would burst into tears and scream in an otherwise extremely silent church.
Let kids be kids
My husband was getting aggravated, we couldn’t pay attention to the word, and it eventually reached a point where I couldn’t take her antics anymore.
So I began apologizing to everyone around us and carried her outside the church for air.
Embarrassment engulfed me as I took the Walk of Shame to the back doors of the church, hustling quickly and avoiding all eye contact with everyone near the aisles.
It was only when we got outside the church it hit me; why did I apologize to everyone for my child being a child?
Did anyone at the church expect that she was going to be anything but a child?
I don’t generally expect my daughter to behave like an adult, so why when we got to church did I expect that she would magically understand social cues and stay quiet during an hour-and-a-half-long church service?
Especially when she can barely control her emotions and is still learning the big world around her.
Self-awareness
This situation made me so self-aware as a mother because it’s never my intention to rush my daughter to grow up or to even silence or stifle her childhood.
But yet, I did just that in church.
It made me reflect on how my parents were when I was a kid going to church, and even my observations of other Caribbean parents in a religious setting.
Sit. Be quiet. Listen to what the priest/pastor is saying. This is not right!
So you know what? I’ve made the decision to stop acting like my child’s behaviour is an inconvenience.
Now, this does not mean I won’t correct her when she’s doing something wrong or teach her how to manoeuvre through her big emotions (tantrums) when she has them.
This means that when she’s acting out and being her whole two-year-old self, I won’t apologize for it.
Unapologetic
I also won’t sit there and beg her to behave the way an adult would, even in church.
We always say stuff like “they grow up so fast”, so parents, let’s slow down time just a little bit, live in the moment and enjoy the little giggles, explorations and even the tantrums (this one will be tough, but we’ve got this!).
Kids will be kids, and they deserve to be just that.
