Here's something we don't talk about enough; the reality of being a single mom.
My son's dad and I were married in our early 20's (he was my first) when I was already pregnant.
It was a quick marriage because his parents' faith wouldn't allow the shame of an unmarried, pregnant woman to live with their son.
My mom doesn't live here so I was basically at the grace of his mom while I was living under her roof.
The reality of being a single mom
During my first trimester I had a threatened miscarriage and was put on bed rest, so I had to leave my job.
I felt very suffocated but tried to keep it together.
We kept all our doctor's appointments but I didn't get to enjoy the benefits of being pregnant.
In my third trimester, I had another threatened miscarriage and this time it was around Christmas.
Again I was put on bed rest, but that didn't last for long.
On Father's Day I began getting a lot of back pains. I was 7 months pregnant.
But I didn't even have a bag packed or a crib set up!
Preeclampsia
We went to our doctor who took my blood pressure twice because she was in disbelief at how high it was.
She immediately sent me to Mount Hope. I had preeclampsia.
It was three days since I was admitted to Mount Hope on a no sodium diet and during this time I was also getting injections to help my baby's lungs develop quicker.
Imagine being 21 and not having a clue about the real danger of this situation.
Emergency section
On the fourth day, my husband and I were greeted by a doctor who had us sign a form for an emergency c-section surgery since my blood pressure was not regulating.
The doctor told us our son would have so many deficiencies it scared us; an underdeveloped brain, speech problems, walking difficulties, and the list went on.
My husband also had to sign a form on who's life was more valuable if any complication was to occur during surgery.
We were young and extremely consumed with despair.
Our newborn
Surgery day came and I was prepped for an emergency c-section.
I suffered some complications and I needed platelets, but my son was delivered weighing 3lbs 4ozs and was rushed to the ICU to be placed in an incubator.
When I woke up, I was in a room where all the mothers were holding their newborns and I heard my best friend and my husband talking beside me.
I was scared because I didn't know if my baby was ok. They reassured me he was and that I would get to see him the next day.
The little egg
The next morning couldn't come soon enough. I could barely wait, but I had to because it took me the whole morning to finally get my legs off the bed and as I stood up, I felt like all my organs dropped to the floor.
My husband came in at 12pm (visitor's time) and we walked across to the ICU.
And there he was; a little egg that could fit in my duster pocket.
I was so worried about everything the doctor said and wondered if we could raise a baby like that.
Miracles do happen
Today my son is 14 years old and he plays club and school hockey.
He has a successful craft business called Craft Monkey where he makes paracord items.
He's quite the talker and every store owner at the mall knows him.
He's smart and super cute and obviously going through the 'meenager' phase.
Happy ever after
Although his dad and I got divorced when he was three, we coparent extremely well.
His dad remarried and his wife and I are very close when it comes to our son Khalel (like Superman).
